


To Blossom or To Bleed

by lost_swan



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Implied homophobia, Pining, high expectations from parents, implied minor character death, painless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 01:18:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17498921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_swan/pseuds/lost_swan
Summary: Jihyo has been pressured her whole life to be perfect. She isn't she's normal. She is living her life as an outsider. With only a few close friends in her large group she gets lonely.She also has feeling for another girl.





	1. Exams are stressful.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually part of my mock language exam so the writing style changes a bit throughout. I'm still writing this so I don't have a set schedule or know the plot or how many chapters it is going to be. I also don't Stan twice or loona so sorry if their personalities aren't correct. I also don't ship them but they fit the look of the characters I was imagining. 
> 
> This is my first work so please leave kudos and any comments would be nice especially if they are about where the story could go.
> 
> I called it to blossom or to bleed because this fix is about whether their relationship will blossom or bleed.

I really should start. I really should start. Ugh, I'm going to fail. I have no idea what to do.

Ideas leapt in and out of Jihyo's mind. Stories of a magnificent hero, a gushing river, a close battle and of course a signature talking animal sidekick. But ideas was all they were. These ideas swirled and hazed inside her head like a tropical storm, never quite there, never quite gone. If only she could get something down on the blank sheet in front of her. 

That's what her tutor had said "writing is easier with words". It was an odd saying. How could anything be anything without words? She had pondered over this question during many sleepless nights after her extra classes. One evening though, she got it. If your page is empty so is your idea bank. If you don't know what to do, just write anything.

It didn't seem to be helping her now though as she glanced up to see the obnoxiously large clock crawl past the number three. Only 45 minutes left.

She glanced to her left. Everyone was writing. Her right, there too, everyone was writing. Gently breathing in and out she started to write, 'Once upon a time'. Aghhgh!! Almost screaming from frustration, she resisted the urge to tear up her paper, knock over the desk, storm out of the room and cry. 

She wouldn't make a sound. She couldn't. That wasn't her. Clever, athletic, kind, calm, collected. That was her, what she was.  
What she had to be. There was no point challenging it or trying to be any different as it wouldn't end well for anyone. She would never get a good job if people thought she was insane.

A hollow cough brought her back to the moment, back to the exam hut and back to the dreaded test. She froze mid groan as she noticed who was sat a couple of rows in front of her. Jinsoul. Heat washed over her body and a subtle blush tinted her cheeks. It was unrealistic, she didn't need anyone to tell her that. Still though, she couldn't seem to hold her feelings back however hard she tried, and she tried. She was incredibly strong willed when she had to be and keeping it secret was easy enough. She didn't lie necessarily, simply didn't bring it up. Nobody around her cared for her opinion on anything other than clothes or guys anyways so a few photos saved of random shirtless celebrities and a few casual relationships kept people convinced. Luckily they didn't have the misfortune to be in many classes together or have many mutual friends. When the sun peeked through a window bouncing into her eyes she noticed she'd been staring. Jinsoul's golden hair cascaded down her back and shone bright blonde in the sunlight, a sharp contrast to Jihyo's own short, dark cut.

Relief flooded through her as she caught onto the fact that the blonde's pen also lay still. She wouldn't be the only one failing - but Jinsoul shouldn't fail, she was perfect. No, not perfect, she had hated that word for a couple of years now after the connotations between not being 'perfect' and days of grounded isolation and disappointment became all too apparent. Despite that grim side thought she was glad it was her she'd fail alongside. Jihyo's eyes were drawn back to the younger as she tossed her silk-like hair over her shoulder and started to write. 

Time had flown by and panic set in as the clock showed only 20 minutes left until she had to hand in her empty paper. She could do it, she would do it. Ha, yeah right, nice one. There was no chance of her passing this one, she knew that. Red pen adorned every page of her workbook like an army of tiny judgemental ants soaked in ink and ready to ruin her grades had marched over it. Her brother had told her to just rewrite whatever show she had watched recently. Somehow though, she didn't think that revision videos and survival shows were going to cut it.

Sharp clacks from the invigilator polished heels neared, page blank, mind empty - great yet another person to please.

As much as she hated the exams, looming over her was also break which she didn't particularly enjoy it either. The ordeal of break-time got closer with each tick of the clock and creak of a chair. It wasn't like she didn't have friends, of course not. It's just that she wouldn't count many of them as real or close friends. Simply put, close friends were scarce and pretentious drama queens were far too common.

How her mother had done it was unbelievable. She had managed to barge her way into every aspect of her life, announce her expectations, and allow nothing less. She had infected and poisoned what should have been her happiest moments and she hated her for it. It was unbeliveable that her mother still had control over her, how she could still hate the woman even when she wasn't even around to defend herself anymore. 

She wasn't greedy. All she wanted was to find some genuinely kind friends to explore the woods with, to paddle in the sea with, to have fun with. To have fun with without having to worry about boys, other peoples expectations and being oh so ladylike. She didn't care about any of those things and pretending to was honestly exhausting. Keeping up the facade was breaking her. Slowly, gradually, chipping away any last sense of self confidence and free choice. 

Distracted suddenly by another toss of Jinsoul's hair she cast her mind back to their first encounter. Grade 6, first thing on an Tuesday, French. It was then that she realised she would never be what her mother wanted. Any last flicker of hope she had of possibly meeting her mothers extreme ideals of perfection were snuffed out as soon as she laid eyes upon the awkward girl at the front of the room.

As the memory faded out she noticed that the clock told her all she needed to know about her grade. As she watched the arrogant hands brush past the time limit she became uncomfortably aware that nobody was moving. A quick glance at the board told her that maybe there was hope. 

She touched her pen to the paper and spread the ink with gentle brushes over the page. It wasn't just ink she was spreading, it was a story of self discovery, a true story, her story. 

A glimpse of hope flashed across her eyes and a subtle smile crept across her face lightly illuminating her delicate features and highlighting her change of heart for all who wished to look.

It all seemed alright, she would be alright.


	2. Karaoke bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The exam is over and the chill time has started but why does Jihyo feel uneasy.
> 
> Also Jihyo is meant to be from a rich family just so you know.

The winter air almost choked her as she bounced down the exam huts steps. She breathed deep. It was nice, it felt free. The fresh air was a stark contrast to the interior of the cramped exam room. Honestly though, a hundred stressed out teenagers in one room with the heating on full blast for a couple hours. Yeah, pretty grim. Luckily she'd grown used to it and after rummaging around in her bag for a second she produced a delicate bottle of rose perfume, a few spritz later and she was cleansed. 

She was mid rearranging her bag and skirt when she felt a weight hit her head, a hand wrapped around her neck and a low chuckle came from behind. Whipping around with such force that she almost knocked the other over she came face to face with her bestie, for real though she would die for her. She'd known Dahyun since the younger had moved into the area in 3rd grade, their friendship bond sealed when they were paired together for an art project a few weeks later.

"How do you think that went then?" 

"Absolutely shit"

"Aww poor you, shall we head now?"

Beside the fact she'd known her for what seemed like forever part of why she liked Dahyun so much more than her other friends was her honest bluntness. She felt as though she could actually hold a conversation and have an honest opinion from her.

They reached the bus station just as their bus was pulling up. They handed the driver their money and clambered the stairs collapsing into the front seats. They had the bus to themselves for at least a bit as it wasn't due to leave for another 20 minutes so they put some music on. Soon enough they were singing and dancing along to the music which guaranteed them some strange looks from the elderly passengers that joined them, but sat far away.

Jihyo turned away with a look of bemusement from Dahyun dancing eccentrically to EXIDs 'I love you' when she spotted her. Almost missing her but spotting her from her bright hair. Upon close inspection Jihyo noticed that she didn't look good, she was acting strangely. She kept patting her sleeve to her eyes and blowing her nose.

Just as she was about to mention it to Dahyun, the bus pulled out of the stop throwing her across the aisle which resulted in an uncontrollable laugh erupting from Dahyun. By the time she had regained her composure they were around the corner and on the way to her neighbourhood. She settled down in her seat and turned towards to her friend as they continued their chit chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very short I just needed to make it into more of a story than the last chapter. It's barely even a chapter I'm sorry. 
> 
> If anyone has any hints on how to bulk out writing without being over descriptive please tell me.
> 
> P.S. please leave comments and kudos I'm new to this and need all the help I can get
> 
> I have made an Instagram page for this account where I will post about my fics. For example I will upload pictures of the characters which are how I imagine them to look or photos of what I imagine their school or neighbourhood to look like etc. It is called lost_swan_ao3 same as my username on this.


End file.
